I have demons in me.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize