so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
