is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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