okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
