areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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