That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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