I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
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