She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
