it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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