Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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