whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
