Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
