East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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