Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Randomize
