Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i drank out of a bidet.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
