it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
