Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Randomize
