if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
