i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Randomize
