Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
