just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize