awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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