nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
