Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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