South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
