I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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