wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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