Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
