Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize