what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Randomize
