You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
