yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
