I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
