Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Randomize
