I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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