Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
