I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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