We won't sleep together?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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