Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
