just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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