people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
