My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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