remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
