can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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