Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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