It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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