he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize