Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
I intend to get homeless drunk
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize