as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Randomize
