you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
