To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Randomize
