im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
