Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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