do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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