break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
