I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Randomize
