Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
