is your mom at the bar?
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
pray to the hookup gods
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
