I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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