he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
