look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
