he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize