Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
