Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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