My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
