I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Randomize
