Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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