Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
